The Five Worst People We’ve Ever Worked For

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In the 25 years we’ve been in the corporate world, we’ve worked for, with, and against a variety of people and personalities.  

While not always pleasant, for the most part, you can find the good in people and align your goals and objectives.  HOWEVER, there are those few that leave you wanting to run for the hills.  To protect the innocent (and to protect ourselves from a lawsuit), we have blended a few and developed “personas” versus citing individual conduct.

During the interview process, if you encounter any of these types, DO NOT take the job.  It will not end well, trust me on that.

The Big Dummy.  AKA Dumb Jock, or “Empty Suit”. While many sports enthusiasts go on to be shining stars in their careers, there are a few that slip through the cracks.  You know the brand…  They look and act the part. (Think Greg Brady/Johnny Bravo – “He fits the suit.”)  The Big Dummy is just that – Over six feet tall and looks like a typical 40 something executive.  He has been promoted by managing up and using buzzwords at every turn.  He reads business “how to” books and is always looking for an easy way out as he doesn’t have the wherewithal to develop a strategic plan.  The Big Dummy is out for himself and will create tiers of bureaucracy and management in an attempt to insulate himself.

The Dictator.  The Dictator is always a short man.  The Dictator has power for the first time in his life and isn’t afraid to use it!  He will belittle you at every turn and make sure you know who is the boss.  One Dictator tried to get me to stay in a Super 8 in Compton because I hadn’t turned in my trip report in time for his liking.  The Dictator has no social skills and the turnover in his staff is at 80%+.  He usually is “friends” with one or more of the executives and has been unjustly promoted.

The Umpa Lumpa.  The Umpa Lumpa is a 40ish woman who has a bad spray tan, fake nails, spiked heels, low cut blouse, short skirt, and hasn’t necessarily slept her way to the top but flirted and used her feminine wiles versus her brain to get to the next level.  Hence, she is grossly incompetent and hides behind a hard exterior.  She is unusually cruel to other women and embarrassingly inappropriate in front of male clients and colleagues.  

The Scatterbrain.  The Scatterbrain can be male or female.  The Scatterbrain always has a new idea before anyone can execute on the current one.  The Scatterbrain NEVER reads or returns emails so don’t bothering sending her one.  She typically is somehow related to the CEO or another executive.  Think Chris Farley in Tommy Boy.

The Evil Genius.  The Evil Genius is just that…  A total a-hole but really smart.  The Evil Genius prides himself on making you and others miserable.  He has to be the smartest one in the room at any cost and is rude to everyone, including vendors and customers.  The executive team  know he’s a liability but he gets s*** done, thus allowing them to play more golf and generally goof-off.  

About Corporate Dinosaurs – Corporate Dinosaurs is a team of seasoned business professionals who want to help you save yourself from extinction.  Do you have a story for Corporate Dinosaurs?  Send it to us at info@corporatedinosauars.com.  If we use your story, we will give you a $100 Amazon Gift Card!

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